Written by Nilanjana Haldar
If you are a parent, be prepared to have your mind blown away by this book’s exposure of your ignorance on the existence of child sexual abuse in society. Blown away to the point where you question if at all your child has been sexually abused as well, because don’t ever forget, children will never say that they were sexually abused——they don’t know that it is sexual abuse, so they will merely state—“He was hurting me”/“He was touching my lower part/genitals” or something like that!
Recall, the amount of times that you might have shooed away little such tantrums of your child.
Ask yourself—> What if that were your own husband (who you might never consider being an abuser) or your own other sibling (male/female, no gender distinction needed for sexual abuse!) who was sexually abusing the smaller of the kids (the one throwing the tantrum)? It is undeniable that when these victims recall any of these wrongdoings done to them after they grow up, they will also, with equal measure, appreciate that society only wants it to be shushed. Like saying, ‘Shhh! Don’t say that!’
So they will brush it aside and do nothing about it.
And you know what that does? When you bury your pain inside, and carry on with your life, you will be passing through an aimless trajectory that bumps on itself and sinks into escapades of suicidal ideations, depression, sadness-of-unknown-origin, and worst of all, an irrepressible urge to repeat what was done to you! These are undoubtedly the most common colours that people take on when they are consistently hammered by abuse, after abuse, after abuse, after abuse, after abuse (multiply that by 10 more and you have a correct figure!) with no parent to protect you remember 😉
BUT STACEY, HAS DONNED A COLOUR OF WHITE, AND NO STAIN OF GREY! She has risen from repeated hate and ONLY abuse, to use the whole game as a chapter in a book that would provide support and comfort to sufferers of this enormously stigmatised crime in society.
In “Live Your Truth” by Stacey Henry Carr, the entire awareness and healing story has snippets and citings from real life. It is about Stacey’s personal story, her cousins’ personal story, and personal stories of others from a community that housed a bee-hive of secrets of sexual abuse! (This is not to say that there weren’t any cherishable nuances in it. In fact, you will see how Stacey focuses on little mundane, simple items in daily life (like food, little trips to the market) to discolour the pain of repeated abuse at home.
NOW STACEY’S STORY WILL MAKE YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH HER! She has surpassed her pain by gratitude. Instead of the path of least resistance taken by many—of hurt, depression, aggression—she made a strong decision to build a life free of pain and full of purity and loving people and set the world an example of how to raise a child granting her all the protection, love and freedom to free whoever the child wants to be. What the world stripped from her rights, she gave to the apple of her eyes! When she suffered, and her parents completely ignored her, she stayed calm. When she suffered silently while she was sexually abused, she stayed calm. In that calm took birth the mind of a healer who refused, LIKE ABSOLUTELY REFUSED (with powers that could make the world topple upside-down) to let any of these hateful bedlam of cruelties define her or to become her future. I have seen so many people stuck in Anger-control groups, Depression-Facebook-groups etc reserving their whole lives allocating poison into the lives of others or blaming their parents (borne out of repressed anger inside of them). And here is a brave, loving heart that made a decision to command the waves of ill-luck to move aside so she can create her life exactly her way and use this mess she grew up in to produce a big fat manual for all those silently living in society, keeping absolutely quiet about their sexual abuses. NO ONE IS EXEMPTED FROM THE RISK, let me tell you! Not me, not you, not anybody! If you were never abused, you just got lucky!
And don’t forget, as Stacey describes to us, an enormous chunk of the abuse-healing is not “BLAMING” these abusers but by having compassion and forgiveness, and healing light for them.
YOU CAN NEVER FULLY HEAL IF YOU THINK, “They don’t deserve my forgiveness and understanding”
Stacey clearly clarifies that! Resentment is what made them abusers. Each and everyone who is abusing you, was abused too!
When you read the book, you will be appalled by the amount of strength this author possesses. How often do you find people out there in the world not only sharing their story of sexual abuse, and parental abandonment (yes! She lived to through that too!) and teaching you gratitude and the power of love, healing and radical forgiveness to arise as the person who you know somewhere you were always meant to be?! Probably never, or rarely!
There are two specific snippets of two separate victims in the novel which I would like to share it. This is in a bid to stir your soul:
“He was being tormented in his own house by his own family,, and no one helped him.. “
“ My life was never an easy one.. From the age of seven I was sexually molested by the neighbour.. I told mom and she shooed m e away.. I screamed it!! I yelled it!! No one believed me and it happened repeatedly by different people.. I was told to “sshut up”” and that I “complained too much.“
DONOT, BY ANY MEANS, DISREGARD THIS BOOK IF YOU ARE A PARENT OR CHOOSE TO BECOME A PARENT SOMEDAY!!!!
So if you have children REMEMBER THEY WILL NEVER TELL YOU ABOUT IT, or if they do, they won’t be able to put it to the most comprehensible and articulate words around. It’s your job as a parent to be vigilant of this possibility and to ASK THEM if they were being touched wrongly. Demonstrate it to the children while asking and always tell them that they are safe. Children hugely suffer the consequences. If you do not want a damaged child, please follow Stacey’s words. Check out Stacey Henry Carr’s personal website too. She offers amazing trauma healing coaching for victims. It is one of the most soothing coaching ever! Helped me too greatly!
This is her Facebook page—> https://www.facebook.com/shenrycarr
Why I recommend this book even for others (who aren’t parents) as well is because you might be having nephews, nieces and your friends’ children around who could just as easily be falling as a prey to predators around. So you could share my review and the book with them!
I want to be clear, that my big review should not make you suppose that I have given it all away from the book. I haven’t. If you read, you will find how deep it is and you will not be able to stop yourself for getting inspired by the author and her cousins. Even if you aren’t sensitive. Bottomline—there is more to be derived from the book than what I just outlined.
Buy the book by clicking the picture below–>